Thursday, May 17, 2012

that’s not what I meant …


We have all sent or received an email that was misinterpreted. Regardless of whether we are the sender or the receiver, the experience is crummy. We feel defensive, misunderstood, unappreciated, angry, sad … the list of adjectives could go on and on.  In good scenarios, we recognize that there is a communication break down, pick up the phone, and the issue is happily resolved five minutes later. Too often, we reply in an increasingly cold way ensuring that the sender also feels the alienation we experienced.

While it is more than possible to misinterpret what someone says in person, the odds are higher with email communication. “Face-to-face interaction … is information-rich. We interpret what people say to us not only from their tone and facial expressions, but also from their body language and pacing, as well as their synchronization with what we do and say” (Goleman, 2007).

side by side …

This communication demo illustrates how a brief email, a voice mail, and an in person conversation can use the same words but create very different experiences. The email is not offensive, but it seems cold and allows room for interpreted blame – which leads to room for defensiveness. If I had received this email, I would have felt like I needed to explain why I had not gotten my piece completed on time. The voicemail is slightly warmer; however, I still felt slightly defensive. While the in person interaction does still have the urgency of needing the completed work, the body language, her smile and relaxed tone feels more like a reminder. I’d be more likely to respond pleasantly and collaboratively.

what can be done …

When working on a project, these steps will help increase the positive communication:

-       Create an audience list to ensure everyone who needs information receives it. Clear communication will help keep everyone informed and avoid hurt feelings (Portny, et al, 2008).
-       Meet with key players at the start of a project to talk about communications. In the meeting, clarify the benefits of strong communications and identify any potentially problematic issues - words, analogies, approaches, etc. (Laureate, 2012).
-       We are less likely to misinterpret email communications from people we know and have communicated with in person (Goleman, 2007). Develop initial face-to-face relationships and nurture those throughout the project.
-       When informal conversations occur, follow up with a formal written summary (Portny, et al, 2008). I have found this helps tie the feeling of the in person communication to the more formal email communication method, buying me an emotional buffer and increasing the chance that subsequent email communications will read as less cold and stiff and decrease the chance for misunderstanding.
-       Finally, you may need to tailor your communications to meet different needs of project team members, stakeholders, or key players. As the project manager, it is your job to communicate with them, not their job to conform to your preference (Laureate, 2012).

I fear workplace miscommunication is not going away any time soon, but we can take steps to minimize the occurrence and mitigate the damage. An acknowledgement of the derailment usually goes a long way toward getting communication back on track!

References
Goleman, D. (2007, October 7) E-Mail is easy to write (and to misread) The New York Times. Retreived from http://www.nytimes.com/
Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2012). Practitioner voices: strategies for working with stakeholders [Video webcast]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_551248_1%26url%3D
Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2012). Project management concerns: Communication strategies  and organizational [Video webcast]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_551248_1%26url%3D
Portny, S. E., Mantel, S. J., Meredith, J. R., Shafer, S. M., Sutton, M. M., & Kramer, B. E. (2008). Project management: Planning, scheduling, and controlling projects. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

11 comments:

  1. Hi Erin,

    I think we have all experienced "thats not what I meant" at some point during our professional careers. That is why at times I draft an email, ponder it and review it again later before sending, especially if it is controversial in any way. You mention some key points and guidelines for communicating, before viewing Dr. Stolovitch's video I had not thought about having a meeting to set guidelines for meetings, but I can see where it could be helpful in some cases.

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    1. I think the tactic of drafting an email, stepping away from it for a bit, and then coming back to re-read is a great one! Especially when you are emotional about a topic or feeling defensive. Thanks for reading ~ e

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  2. Erin,

    Great post! I think it was mentioned last week as well, but you have a pleasant and engaging writing style that is enjoyable to read. You write in your third point for increasing effective communication that "We are less likely to misinterpret email communications from people we know and have communicated with in person (Goleman, 2007). Develop initial face-to-face (F2F) relationships and nurture those throughout the project." With the informal feel of each of the examples, I would assume that Jane and Mark are quite familiar with one another, particularly when her F2F delivery is given over the cubicle wall. With that being said, I think that each of her attempts at communication were effective, however, with the urgency of the subject, I believe that Jane would have been well-suited to deliver her message F2F in order to get immediate feedback on the situation.

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    1. While knowing someone helps you not misinterpret what their tone in an email, I think it can also decrease the urgency. I have been guilty of bumping someone down on my to-do list because I knew them well because I knew they'd forgive me. If that same person delivered the message face-to-face, it would have made me realize the urgency and importance and remind me that I like this person and they are counting on me - the relationship would factor in more heavily face-to-face, I think.

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  3. Hi Erin
    You covered some great points in this post. I think everything you have said is extremely important in ensuring that communication is not misinterpreted, misunderstood or simply forgotten. Mayhall (n,d) suggests that a communication plan should be developed as this avoids any type of misinterpretation and also “protect you against last-minute, seat-of-the-pants demands from staff and members”. This would tie in very nicely with what everything you have mentioned in your post. The communication plan encompasses different types ad modes of communication and so it really allows the project manager to tailor the communication to the needs of the stakeholder.
    Reference
    Mayhall, R. (n.d.). How to Develop a Communications Plan. Hieran Publishing: freelance writing, editing, desktop publishing, public relations. Retrieved May 19, 2012, from http://www.hieran.com/comet/howto.html

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  4. This is a great post Erin. I completely agree that many things get misinterpreted. i am misinterpreted quite often and it is quite annoying. In order to avoid the pitfalls of miscommunication I think that a project manager should utilize as many communication channels as possible. Yes the most effective way to communicate is in person, therefore, if you really want to communicate effectively the project manager should figure out a way to communicate with all particpants without losing too much of the personal touch.I am a strong proponent of the video message.

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    1. Communicating in more than one channel is a great way to reiterate things, Marcus, especially to follow up a face-to-face conversation. Not only does it remind the recipient of what was discussed, it can stress the urgency, and (perhaps) provide clarity or the need for clarity if something was misunderstood in the verbal communication!

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  5. Hi Erin:
    Great post! when I think of how many mistakes I made in team communications in my twenties, I cringe. This week's activity really drove home just how important it is to act as a diplomat in all of our communications.

    “A project manager isn’t a technician; you’re a diplomat…spirit and attitude is even more important than the words” (Stolovitch, n.d.). Our resources this week do a good job highlighting the importance of that diplomacy, including tonality, body language and timing of all communications.

    References

    Stolovitch. (n.d.). Communicating with stakeholders presented for Laureate Education, Inc. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_551248_1%26url%3D

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  6. Sheila to Erin’s Blog:
    Great post! When I think about how many mistakes I made in my twenties on team communications, I cringe. This week’s activity really drives home the concept of being a communications diplomat. “A project manager isn’t a technician; you’re a diplomat…spirit and attitude is even more important than the words” (Stolovitch, n.d.). Our resources this week also do a good job highlighting the importance of that diplomacy, including tonality, body language and timing of all communications.

    References

    Stolovitch. (n.d.). Communicating with stakeholders presented for Laureate Education, Inc. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_551248_1%26url%3D

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  7. Hi Erin, I was not thinking about written communication having unintended subtexts when I experienced the media but you reminded me of that. I, like everyone else i'm sure have experienced that. Usually, if the relationship is good between the people involved, they'll fix it and talk about it but in a new team where the members are just getting to know one another, it could destroy new and fragile working relationships.
    I do like the way you write. Keep up the good work.

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    1. Thanks so much! I enjoy writing these blog posts, so I am glad you enjoy reading!

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